Looming

Austin, Texas

Tue, 21 Jun 2005 02:17:47 GMT

leave it to lyr, in the middle of a crisis to send me a care package. because she didn't know where i'd be by the time it "arrived," she sent it to the austin venue-- the irwin theatre and they sent it to the hotel. it's a "box of new york." she got me the recordings of mamma mia, wicked, and avenue q. hot stuff. also included are some polaroids: a hot dog cart, a pair of hotties on christopher street, and the skyline. she also sent me a pair of "fell-off-the-truck" sunglasses and a hat i would never wear.

sweet stuff. i owe her at least an austin snowglobe now.

...do they have snowglobes in austin?

...do people who live in austin know what snow is?

Oklahoma City, OK

Tue, 21 Jun 2005 01:52:11 GMT

today, for my "off" day, i actually got to work. i was sent an express package of remixes for my approval. i was sent a list of names to go with them and decide who i'm going to include on anything. it's a weird, sketchy issue because technically they are all "official" mixes because they were asked to be done. but with a simple mark of a pen, i could make them my next big club hit. well. hopefully.

and actually, it's not all just club stuff. and even my "club" stuff isn't really that clubbish... i haven't had a legitimate house mix since "harlot!" well, official anyway.

casey does most of the mixing, and he's usually amazing. i'd never let anyone else get one in if he had the time to mix everything. since he also tours with us, he simply is too busy. of everyone, he's my most trusted guy. i could very much be in love with him if it wasn't for the whole... stuff between us. blah, anyway.

yeah, so anyway. also went through my songs again with sonja, more leisurely this time. i wasn't able to sing them aloud (vocal rest) but we were able to talk about them. one of them, "made it easy" was a front-runner, but i want that to be on an album. we settled for "thanks and fall," which i really want to work on. i just don't... like it that much, but there's parts of it that i really do like. also re-structured "product." i rewrote some lines and did some "la-de-da"s into a tape recorder to work on with melody with erik maybe tomorrow. i'd actually forgotten a lot of this material. i'd gotten so focused on the album stuff. this may make a very different tour.

i'm actually looking for something a little more sentimental. i seem to have the niche of writing from characters... "whatever felt good" as the bitchy but concerned friend... "wish you were older" as a gay club chickenhawk... and now "product" as a callboy.

i actually have an idea for a "dead skin" mix for the single, but it involves reading the constitution. and that'll either come off as cheesy, pretentious, both, or that weird middle ground that tori does with "happiness is a warm gun," where it's neither in-your-face or subtlety ironic and comes off as just silly.

lots to think about. i wish i could fucking sing right now.

Denver, Colorado

Sat, 18 Jun 2005 09:10:32 GMT

jarring show. i sang "with or without you" tonight and dedicated it to 'the girl with everything falling down on her.' duh, lyr.

i don't know if it really "speaks" volumes about her or her situation, but for some reason it seemed appropriate. for the most part the setlist was dark and gloomy. not a happy song on the list. even "wish you were older" which sounds light, got very dark tonight. i asked for the electric guitar on it only, and my god did it creep me the fuck out.

"ghosts" and "montreal" were all disturbing too. i wanted to lighten the mood a bit for the encore, with "rocket boy," but it didn't come out as groovy. my voice was naturally pretty jaggedly deep for tonight because it's getting kinda tired, and i ignored vocal rest for the last two days. i'll be good the next few.

meredith called to confirm her meeting us on the 13th (houston, tx). i had almost forgotten she was scheduled for the rest of tour. she was always pretty removed (though wonderful) from the group, so jude subbing and being just as secluded wasn't much of a stretch.

sleep again. i don't do enough of it.

Santa Fe, New Mexico

Sat, 18 Jun 2005 08:44:39 GMT

lyr called again. she took a home pregnancy test. she's scared to tell the boyfriend.

kevin, you see, doesn't want children. he likes dachshunds.

there's something to be said for a man who is forthright with what he wants; even if it's tiny puppies over screaming infants.

the strip turned blue. and then pink. and then disappeared. i asked her what the box said "blue" meant. it didn't say anything about blue. pink? nothing... "well, damn, lyr, what does it say?" "it says to look for a plus sign or a negative."

i told her to go to her ob/gyn. appointment's at 4 tomorrow.

i feel very far away from her right now. she asked me to sing at the show tonight for her. my voice cracked when i said "ok."

bitch.

Phoenix, Arizona

Sat, 18 Jun 2005 08:05:12 GMT

so i was talking to people outside the venue and signing stuff, a girl asks me about "break me gently." i ask her to repeat that, and she does, "break me gently." it's a song. i don't know it, i explain, and she says "but you wrote it!"

i ask her for some lyrics from, convinced she's got to be wrong... she didn't know them. i asked how she knew of the song existed.

"the library of congress."

apparently, i've submitted the song, and i wrote it in like 1999.

i have the memory of fish. and i'm being spied on!

i laughed and said i'd see what i can do. anything i wrote in 1999 however should probably be burned.

the show itself was great, though. nothing fancy, but nothing bad at all. i'm very tired. denver tomorrow. we're driving now.

dammit, i actually have more to say, but my hands are telling me not the risk the sprain of typing while fading towards unconsciousness in a fast-moving bus.

Phoenix, Arizona

Sat, 18 Jun 2005 07:14:25 GMT

had a bit of a surreal moment today. i got a call from biolum, explaining how they want to rush-release the "dead skin" single by September 1st, and if i knew what i wanted on it.

i had just finished soundcheck, so my head wasn't exactly the most... complete. ironically, i did "dead skin" for the soundcheck (along with "stupid girl")... and i had to check my notebook to see if there were any songs that had to go on there...

the turn of events:
- "how incredibly soon do you need my answer, isobel?"
- "uh..."
- "you need it right now, don't you, isobel?"
- "i'm sorry, mr. kamen..."
- "i know, isobel, i know. fuck, ok, give me 10 minutes."

she didn't want me to get off the phone; i can hear it in her voice... she's afraid she'll never get me back. she's one of six people who have my cellphone number, and she's convinced i'll change it on her. isobel is very sweet, but a bit on the schizo-cat side.

i go to sonja with the notebook. "help me! now!"

we look... "uh, no... no... did we release that yet? oh... right... track 4 on the album... oh, i like that one... shit, did we record this yet? dammit... casey! can you record on that thing right now? we need to fake a demo! ok, ok, ok... fine... ummm... who the fuck wrote that?!"

unfortunately, it looks like it's got to be something already done. and this is insane; this is no way to release an inspired piece of musical legacy! did john lennon ever get calls with people screaming "mr. lennon, quick, we need a b-side for 'imagine!' do you think we could put the same beatbox from your last single on it and make it a theme or something? no-- it's conceptual! mr. lennon... please stop hitting me!"

i call back isobel.

- "isobel."
- "yes, mr. kamen!" i sense relief in her voice.
- "i'm sorry."
- "oh, mr. kamen..." she's feeling queasy.
- "i don't think i have a song already recorded to put on there."
- "oh..." yep, her spleen's pounding.
- "yeah, i'm gonna have to wait and get to a recording studio."
- "oh..." i've killed the woman.
- "if it helps, i think i've got the songs in mind, though."
- "oh?" life support... i think i got a heartbeat.
- "yeah, i just need to touch up some arrangements with the others."
- "oh." we're losing her again!
- "i'll call you tomorrow."
- "okay..." sorry, ladies and gentlemen... we did the best we could.

and what's that you say? we have a show to do now?! by golly!

Portland, Oregon

Fri, 03 Jun 2005 19:34:27 GMT

totally psyched... the dvd player on the bus is fixed. it broke for some reason while we were in san diego, but it's back. huzzah.

on our day's journey, we watched hedwig and the angry inch. it all got us really pumped for the show tonight. last night's was fine, but it didn't really do much in the terms of excitement until towards the end. i'm getting more excited about the covers than the original material. we need to get out some of the new songs, now.

we did "hot stuff," though, which went over better than i was even hoping. i didn't really think people would know it. we had a good minute-and-a-half intro for it with the beginning loop and first (recorded) guitar riffs. they didn't seem to really "get" it until i started to sing it, and there were the usual 10% who didn't cheer until i got to the chorus, because they clearly didn't know it. but they were singing along by the end! oh, it was inspired.

otherwise, a faithful set, with "ghosts" and most of the two albums. no b-sides this time, and no other covers. we did do "how'd you get so dark," though, which we don't do a lot. people seemed confused (in that "yay" kinda way) when i did the extra verse. it's how it was written; i forget that the album version's missing it. i'm sure i'll read online in some forum that i did some new improv.

talked to lyr on the phone. she thinks she's pregnant.

i'll leave it on that note.

Portland, Oregon

Wed, 01 Jun 2005 05:10:46 GMT

ok, i think we may officially be on crack. so, we just practiced three new covers on our soundcheck here in portland. "hot stuff" by donna summer, "with or without you" by u2, and "rip her to shreds" by blondie.

casey went buck wild with his mixing program and got the original "hot stuff" and stripped the vocals out of it. he kept the "hot stuff" phrase vocal and chopped up donna summer's voice so it completely sounded different. it had the same beat, but it was so... dark. that was really what made me want to do it. the fact that he actually made the song seem that much more horny.

"rip her to shreds" was an attempt to see if we could even do on stage. we're not there. erik just doesn't know it. i also keep fucking up the words. and "with or without you" was done with just bass and piano, because sonja's this perfect goddess that apparently translate guitar to piano with just one listen. dex was pretty capable, and it has some potential.

'sides, we don't want to pull out all our surprises just this night.

Portland, Oregon

Wed, 01 Jun 2005 00:56:51 GMT

re: "mr. brightside" by the killers.

ok. officially jealous.

rest of the disc's kinda blah, but fuck, this is priceless.

Grants Pass, Oregon

Wed, 01 Jun 2005 00:54:37 GMT

we are on our way to portland, and we stopped for food. there was a music store nearby, so sonja and i went in while the crew took a much needed stop.

one of my very favorite things to spend my money on is music. i have a million of them. it's upsetting. thing is, i very rarely have time for anything else. i love movies, but it takes me so long to see them, and i haven't been in a movie theatre since lyr and i saw pirates of the caribbean. i'm not much of a dvd whore, but i like to see what i can. mad's been raving about this movie called saved that she wants me to see. we're scheduling some sort of movie night... not entirely sure when... we have days off?

oh, right. point.

well, were in the music store and checking out stuff. the abba cover album is out. i didn't even know. i probably should've. i bought it; $10. i might like it, who knows. plus i'm on it, and while i'll probably receive an eighth of a cent for every purchase, i might as well get the ball rolling. checked to see if they have my cd. indeed-- three copies of promise, two of deviate, plus an import of "harlot!" went to their singles section and sure enough they had "probably miss you" and "under you." i was so proud.

pretty well-stocked place. i got another copy of erotica to replace mine which skips during "fever," and went to see the new releases. i picked up the killers, the yeah yeah yeahs, and i also grabbed eight arms by veruca salt.

such was my productivity.

Sacramento, California

Wed, 25 May 2005 00:28:08 GMT

the show was very sober for the most part. it wasn't really a "fun" show so much as a very interesting one. i saw two rows of industry, too, so i'm likely to get some press tonight. at least it was a pretty good act.

after dear watson left the stage, we went out there with a pretty awesome "harlot!" erik did a great job with his extended guitar solo. i'm actually hoping on scrapping "harlot!" from our first songlist about halfway through the tour. i'm thinking that it will make a far more impressive 10-minute encore rather than a six-minute opener. i'm afraid it may be too bloated an intro.

we still went on, doing "harlot!" and then "second-rate life." we went through the usuals ("lost at sea," "montreal," "rogue's scorn," "probably miss you") and then did the first cover, "rocket boy" by liz. it was a nice quickie-cover, then broke up some of the expected songs... i'm pretty hard on myself, really, when it comes to setlists. i'm always thinking we're doing the same songs over and over and i figure that's gotta be boring for the crowd.

we did "wish you were older," "dead skin," "under you," and "at a loss." we then did "promise not to tell" on the piano, and used that as a segue into "one more round." then came "whatever felt good," "boys in the background," "ask/receive," and "grace." we ended with "looming."

we came back with two encores, the cover of "sk8r boi" and "dared me to." i explained before "dared me to" that it was a rough version of it, and that it may be the only time that i perform it that way i did tonight. we considered that a full show and called it a night.

i am going to bed with something of a scratchy throat. that kinda scares the hell out of me. vocal rest. 2 days.

Sacramento, California

Fri, 20 May 2005 23:02:41 GMT

it is fucking hot here. the venue was having air conditioning issues and they had it shut off for most of the week. normally, that's ok, 'cause humidity's better for the live voice, but i expected it to at least be cool here to start with and then they would turn it off. but no, blazes-hot.

did three soundcheck numbers because dear watson only did one and were set. we did a cover of "sk8r boi" and two newer songs, one i've been working on for a about a month called "dared me to" but still leaves me unsatisfied, and "one more round" which i hadn't done since i recorded it. i needed the lyrics sheet for that one.

i love "round" because it's that song i wish i wrote but tabitha beat me on. at least it's still "mine," even though it hasn't gone anywhere. it just hasn't fit on anything yet.

sonja suggested we make a list of every song we've ever rehearsed and/or performed live and/or wrote and hadn't worked on musically. that's a lot songs.

San Jose, California

Fri, 20 May 2005 22:35:58 GMT

biolum wants me to do a video for "dead skin" which is ironic because they completely dropped the ball on "under you" and "probably miss you." they want to have a live vid for "skin," and that i'm currently arguing with them about.

i hate live videos. i think they look fake and cheesy. unless you are def leppard, you should not be lip-syncing your songs in your music videos, while "performing" to hundreds of people. it's cheesy when bruce springsteen did it, it's cheesy when clay aiken did it...

plus, while i like "dead skin," i've been working on a lot of new stuff and i'm getting into a new space-- i don't want to have "skin" to be my single anymore. at this point, though, i want like three of my new songs to be my next single, and that's not going to happen.

and they're all "well, we want to promote the concerts as well" and i'm all "well, they're already sold out-- we're not going to get new people from this!"

they were okay with the low-fi "whatever felt good" shoot, so i may be able to talk them into that, but i don't know where i'm going to shoot it, what i'm gonna do, or who i'm going to get to direct it.

sacramento show tonight. got lots of new stuff to work on in soundcheck; we're forgoing "harlot!" and hoping it works, but we've got new songs we've never done on stage that we're testing.

Santa Barbara, California

Mon, 09 May 2005 22:11:09 GMT

our lists:

erik: heaven on their minds (weber/rice), dream on (aerosmith), i'll follow the sun (beatles), this is love (pj harvey), sk8r boi (a. lavigne).

sonja: talula (t. amos), running up that hill (k. bush), toxic (b. spears), love is a battlefield (p. benatar), waterfalls (tlc).

dex: enter sandman (metallica), breathe (pink floyd), burning for you (blue oyster cult), with or without you (u2), like a virgin (madonna)

derek: uninvited (a. morissette), like a virgin (madonna), heaven on their minds (weber/rice), hot stuff (donna summer), rip her to shreds (blondie)

casey: brand new lover (dead or alive), nobody knows me (madonna), wannabe (spice girls), addicted to love (r. palmer), there's more to life than this (bjork)

--

so which were the gags? well, mine were "like a virgin" and "hot stuff." i don't think they were particularly veiled jokes, but casey thought "hot stuff" was a great idea. "like a virgin" is simply never going to happen. i'll do a lot of m songs, but not that one.

erik and i had actually talked about "heaven on their minds" a while back, but we hadn't spoken about it months... i was amazed that it was on both of our lists. dex had "like a virgin" too, but he was kidding, too.

sonja is refusing to tell which are her two fake ones, but i'm pretty sure "waterfalls" is one of them. and i know "running up that hill" is because sonja hates kate bush with a furious passion. she can pretend all she likes that she's seriously considering all her choices, but i know better.

casey's list is uncrackable. he is the type of person who would suggest "wannabe." and he's a techno fiend so "nkm" is certainly an option. the bjork song he chose is so out of left field i can't imagine he'd make that up just as a throwaway. it's a pretty interesting idea, too. i've never performed bjork. i love her muchly, but i've never even been able to sing along with her. i get lost in her syllables.

dex's other choices were all probably honest, and "with or without you" is an inspired selection. i don't care if he was kidding, i want to do that now. the other fake... probably "sandman." we don't have the strings.

i was convinced erik's gags were "sk8r boi" and by default "this is love." halfright. he finally admitted that "this is love" wasn't serious and neither was "dream on." he actually (jokingly... perhaps) threatened physical harm if i ever attempt to sing that song on stage.

and that's basically it. we go through them all (even the "jokes") and decide what we can and cannot play. tomorrow at the signings, i'm gonna start asking what people would like to hear.

it's amazing; i try to think of songs i like and my mind goes blank.

Santa Barbara, California

Mon, 09 May 2005 21:42:06 GMT

the band and i practiced a bunch of new songs today, including liz phair's "rocket boy," tori amos' "talula," (which sonja wants to do because it's both her favorite tori song, but also the song that she sang/played at her audition for me), the pretenders' "brass in pocket," and alanis' "you oughta know."

i don't know if any of them are even covers that are serious. we just realized though that we aren't halfway through this tour and we don't want to get sick of the songs we've got, y'know, the ones we wrote.

i can understand that. i've sung some songs twice ever and i'm sick of them.

sonja got this cd by the dresden somebodies or others, as suggested by someone from dear watson. apparently she's learning to play their stuff now. yeah, i don't know. maybe; haven't even heard the disc yet. they might be great.

so to solve this creative crunch for new covers, we decided, as a band to write up 5 songs each we'd like to learn/arrange/rehearse and/or perform. we're allowed two to be completely ridiculous, and the other three to be entirely serious.

we're not allowed to tell each other which is which.

sacramento in the morning.

i'm keeping my mind off of jeremy. every once in a while, i get a lyric or a few words i want to say and i write them down. but i am in no mood to brainstorm about him right now.

Santa Barbara, California

Tue, 25 Jan 2005 21:19:51 GMT

page six called me "boy george for a new generation."

i am uncertain how to take that.

Santa Barbara, California

Wed, 19 Jan 2005 05:58:18 GMT

mad and i went to a kareoke club. yes, yes. kareoke club + legitimate musician = death. but we thought it would be fun. it was around 11 and since we weren't actually leaving until tomorrow, we figured what the hell.

so, we get in there and a woman is screaming "i will survive" full force. we don't get recognized for 45 minutes, and by that point, mad and i have had a few drinks, are feeling plenty stupid, and when a fangirl spots us, she comes up, compliments out show and asks if we're going to sing.

we weren't going to sing. but we did. once it spread around that there were recording artists in the vicinity of embarrassment, we were pegged and called up on stage. so, we did what any self-respecting tabloid-avoiding musicians would do. we brought the house down. we went through their lists, but there weren't any songs that both of us knew the words to. finally, we hit "random" (instant death) and the beatles' "come together" comes up. i figure, it's a duet, i can fake it. apparently the same thought occurred to mad, because we were two lines into it and had no idea what the hell came next. yes there were tv screens with the lyrics running across them, but we ignored them entirely. it was so... so... bad.

i saw some flashbulbs. we're screwed for the local times.

Santa Barbara, California

Tue, 18 Jan 2005 21:49:10 GMT

"they told your music could reach millions, that the choice was up to you."

when jeremy broke up with me, he left me a cd. it was "dilate" by ani difranco. he hadn't intended to leave it. it was among a few things he just never came and collected from my loft in new york. i also had a pair of his socks, a pair of ck's, an extra toothbrush, and this lotion he used to smell like.

i threw it all away except for the cd. because i believe, in theory, he was singing some of the songs to me. "napoleon" hurt me the most, because when we argued about my career, he called me a puppet and that i never learned from "ghosts." i can't think about this right now. i have shit to do.

Santa Barbara, California

Tue, 18 Jan 2005 19:51:27 GMT

the show started off fine, but kind of trailed towards the end. i was in a fog for the two encores. motions were went through. i must admit that i had a lot of fun doing "criminal" so soon in a set-list. everything else was pretty much by the book.

somewhere during "probably miss you," i remembered the voice. it was jenna harris. jeremy's sister. i had only met her a few times. she's a little older, maybe 30. why would i be getting a phone call from jeremy's sister? unless jeremy called me from it.

i'm going to bed with a very weird feeling tonight.

Santa Barbara, California

Tue, 18 Jan 2005 19:44:34 GMT

i got a phone call during soundcheck. not a number i knew, so i called it back. a woman answered, and said she didn't call me.

i knew her voice, but she wouldn't tell me her name; i think she was weirded out by a strange man calling her and asking who she was and why she called when she hadn't.

i knew her voice.

Santa Barbara, California

Wed, 22 Dec 2004 23:30:40 GMT

you know the sun was in my eyes
and hurricanes and rain and black and cloudy skies

running up and down that hill, we turn it on and off at will
there's nothing here to thrill or bring you down

and if we have no other choice, you know you can follow my voice
through the dark turns and noise of this wicked little town

the fates are vicious and they're cruel
you learn too late you've used two wishes like a fool

and there's no mystical design, no cosmic lover preassigned
there's nothing you can find that cannot be found

'cause with the changes i've been through, it seems the stranger's always you
alone again in some new wicked little town

when everything starts breaking down, you take the pieces off the ground
and show this wicked town something beautiful and new

it's a wicked little town... little town... little town...
goodbye, wicked little town

------------------

refashioning an improv i once did during a soundcheck. originally, it was because i got the lyrics and verses all jumbled. i've since come across this. it's pretty stark. it's me and erik's acoustic. it kind of scares me.

reasoning.

Wed, 22 Dec 2004 08:30:32 GMT

i want a greatest hits album. i know... 2 albums do not a greatest hits album make. but i'm hearing about all these people who are making their best of's already and it's making me jealous. no doubt only had four. britney only had four. shania twain had like... two successful ones. granted mad should have one before me, but that's just biased.

anyway, the show was a success. a number of surprises occurred after the once again obligatory "harlot!" and "under you" numbers. i liked the transition last night, so i did "fucked anyway" again and we moved into "boys" afterward. we, like we always do, came up with the setlist together after soundcheck. erik was itching to do "grace" and "montreal" so we did. it was the first time ever that we've not done "lost at sea" during a show that we've played "montreal." there still has never been a show where "lost at sea" is the only one played. eh, "montreal" is a stronger cut.

we did the yearbook "older" and then popped "a different drum" in. "needed distraction" and "over me" came next, and we did "ghosts" really early in the setlist. "dead skin" and "ask" were after. for "second-rate life," we gave andy an extended drum solo, and they left for the piano/vocal mix of "promise" and then "probably miss you." as sonja started "sugar," i dedicated the song to rianna and kevin who were nice enough to proof the performance before the show. the crowd, nearly all of them oblivious to who those two people were went nuts. we closed with "whatever felt good."

for encores, i went for uncharacteristic with "at a loss" and then finished up with "looming." anyone who didn't see that one coming really wasn't paying attention.

but still. greatest hits. want one. already have like nine probable tracks. it should be awesome, dammit. i know i've gotten some requests for a video collection. i could do that, even though i only really have had five videos. well, public ones. additional promo ones were shot for "ghosts" and "harlot!" hm. and i know there's some live footage. all possibilities. exciting. i still want to do one of those "storytellers" shows.

so many things i want to do! not one of them is what i should be doing; sleeping. still thinking of that kevin. so probably barely under 18. so probably worth the headlines.

interrogating.

Wed, 22 Dec 2004 06:47:53 GMT

got mobbed at the steakhouse. it was an inadvertent m-and-g and the fans were completely uninterested in letting me eat. i was as polite as i could get, but it was borderline ridiculous. i was going to apologize to the staff and leave, but they showed me to a secluded area where we could hide out. i hate that, but they were pretty accommodating, and i promised the crowd (which was admittedly only about 15 or 20 people who clearly where eating at the restaurant before coming to the show) i'd see them after i ate and talk and sign.

they seemed to understand but not really care. i'd hear "derek!" every couple minutes between bites.

i asked if there was an alternate way of leaving the restaurant, and the server showed me to the back exit through the kitchen. he seemed, if anything, incredibly flattered that i'd come to his restaurant. nifty.

chad volunteered to let the crowd know that i'd left the building and was at the arena but couldn't walk out the main way. they complied and apparently bolted from the establishment. i hope they at least paid their checks.

i headed to soundcheck and asked the arena's management if i could get two or three people in for my soundcheck, which i always thought was a cool extra thing to do, and they said ok as long as they sat in the fifteenth row (which is the last row of the first section) and were watched by security. they were also only allowed to watch my set since mad and watson have their own bodyguards, etc. and they may not want to have an audience.

so i went outside and met the crowd while dear watson practiced and after signing some stuff and answering some questions (which gave me the idea of a q&a session for one of our shows), i invited kevin and rianna (i think that was how you spelled her name) to see the band rehearse. they were thrilled and the others were jealous. kevin was this really hot abercrombie modelesque college student and rianna was his stereotypical snappy-witted black friend.

we rehearsed "harlot!" and "sugar" again and i thanked rianna and kevin for coming by. kevin was all mumbly and nervous. i very much wanted him. like right then and there. i told him i hope they enjoyed the show and went got two copies of the program for them. i like to save my favourites $25 when i can. i signed them both. rianna asked for a hug. i hugged them both and decided to go for it and kissed kevin on the cheek, too.

i then had to leave. because i was incredibly turned on.

that and mad had to go on and soundcheck. so i waved bye and came here backstage and drank three bottles of ice-cold water. hydrated. and sexually frustrated.

save.

Wed, 22 Dec 2004 06:25:28 GMT

sonja got me the no doubt compilation. aww. so awesome. no-stop n.d. grooving in the bus!

we're on our way to san diego now. i haven't been to san diego since i was 15. my dad took me when he went to this convention for rare literature finally published. i don't remember a lot of it, but it's all bright and lovely out.

last night's show was pretty awesome. we did three covers; it was like doing the club dates all over again. really, though, it was a pretty tight set. after we got over the obvious ones ("harlot!" and "under you") we launched into "fucked anyway" and that's a fun song. i don't have many genuinely fun songs. most of mine are actually pretty preachy and/or masochistic. i'm all high and mighty for someone so insecure.

after that, we went into "lost at sea" (which proves my point about my contradictory songsmithing) and then into "montreal." after "grace," we did "boys of summer" (bree sharp edition of course) and it was going to just be a brief cover, but we got a little carried away. jamie at the soundboard said we clocked in at six minutes. we get a rockin'. we did "life" and then "dead skin" before the piano section (we're so tori) and had it out with "probably miss you" before doing "sugar."

omigod "sugar." i am a shameless self-promoter. awesome! awesome! awesome from everyone, really. it was just sexy and steamy and angsty and oh so hot. we got props from dear watson.

we did the yearbook "wish you were older" and then "rogue's scorn" which was actually a really bad idea. they just don't mix together. i didn't realize this until we started "scorn" but it was too late. whatever; it's a good song and hopefully no one decided to think there was any underlying messages. "distraction" and "ghosts" came after which were painfully by the book. we ended with "looming."

but what was fun were the encores because we knocked down a two-minute version of "boys in the background" and then "at a loss." we ended with a powerhouse "barracuda" which i didn't want to stop. erik is god. it was actually dex's idea. we had done the song before (tour '02) but never as good as that. definitely on the list of songs to do more often.

ok. we're getting steak before soundcheck. yum.

shuffle.

Mon, 20 Dec 2004 20:26:50 GMT

soundcheck was fun. we rehearsed "ask/receive" to make sure we had it down. some twinges here and there. can't say that it particularly moved me, but it was ok. what was exciting was our trying out "sugar."

because i only have two albums and an e.p. that i ignore greatly, i have to fill the show with something else and so sexy, random covers of songs i adore are always fun. sonja suggested "sugar" after she was playing venus in the tourbus. i thought about it, and thought that could be really cool. especially doing that version.

so, we'll be doing that late in the set for fun. i think i'll omit the "you're just a pussy, my sweet boy" though.

ok; watson's on in ten.